Ashdood's Journals

My apologies.

Wow, I'm so out of the loop here. I haven't been active in so long. I'm sorry :/ Haha, I miss you all and all of your creativity, intelligence, and humor so much. My laptop isn't working right now, but when it is, I promise I'll make an effort to be on here more often. Without my computer, I have to borrow my grammy's or my momma's, so my editing software isn't on theirs and yadda yadda yadda. But, maybe I'll be posting again soon.

ENOUGH ABOUT ME. I miss you all, and I'm gonna try and be on here more, woo!

Hello..

How are all of you guys?
I miss you all :/

I don't know when I'll be back.
I make sure I check Buzz every once in a while to see everyone's posts, though :D

<3 See you around.

Break from Buzz.

I'll be taking a break from Baby Buzz for a while. I'm not going to the high school that I thought I would be attending, instead I transferred to another school about a week before the school year begins. So, I'm swamped with work and I have no time to complete it in. I don't know just when I'll be back, but it won't be too long. Hell, I'll probably drop a few comments every now and then. I'm sure I'll be lurking around every once in a while, hahah. See ya later, Buzznet!

Dirty and disheveled.

I haven't written in so long, it feels good to put pencil to paper again.
Even if I'm rusty.

****

Wipe my slate clean.
Rinse this foul flavor from my mouth.
The words that tumbled out did not belong to me.
They are foreign, and cannot be deciphered.
Live up to your lies, my expectations.
You can't break a heart that was never whole.
Love what will never return the favor.
Wise move, now it's my turn.
I'll shut the door on emotions I've never acknowledged.
Let them befriend dust in the warmth of shadows.
When the time comes, I'll unearth these feelings.
Wrap them up and top them with a bow.
A gift to someone more deserving.

UHM WHAT!?

Oh. My. Lanta.
I'm sorry for all of you who have suffered cardiac arrest from the scare
that is my face at the bottom of your screen.
I'm so thankful. I have no clue what I did to deserve this.
Thank you Buzznet! Thank you, whoever placed my giant pouty face on the bottom
right hand corner of your computers!
Ohgah, that picture of me is scary.
I'll be visiting you in your nightmares, Buzznet.

~*NOT SPAM.

Jennabear tagged me. Dun dun dunnn.

1)How are you at the moment?
I'm just fine. How are you?

2) Why?
Because I got three shots this morning, and I love getting shots.
Because it's raining, and thundering, and I'm hoping for a storm.
Because... what the fuck happened to the rain!? Fuck!!
Is it too late to change number one!?

3) Give me 5 bestest persons at buzz.
I'll give you as many as I want to, bitch.

SaraxGee, AnAmericanGod, TryingToFindTheWords, ImRadYo,
OneSixSix, TheSusieQ, NatalieGray, AshaAttack, LiveAndLove,
OunceOfWentz, Helen099, TwilightRaindropsand of course
BreeSays and PanasonicYouth.

4) Do you like yourself?
Yeah, I guess I'm not so bad.

5) What do you like to do in your free time?
Wreak havoc upon the state of New Jersey.

6) Do you think you're able to do everything you'd like to [right now, from that place, are you confident enough //not in future]?
I'm too young to be taken seriously enough.

7) Do you think fighting makes any sense?
Nah, but it's human nature to wanna killaskank.

8) Was last question clever?
No. And this question is not well-constructed, in my opinion.

9) Which places would you like to visit?
There are tons of them.

10) Honestly, give me one person from buzz, who made you feel special, like their friend?
The first person I really talked to on here was Savannah (TryingToFindTheWords), I believe, and she was so sweet. She gave me a good first impression of Buzznet :)

11) What's your mobile phone?
LG New Chocolate in blue!

12) Would you like to have (new) one?
Yeah, I've lost, broken, and replaced this phone way too many times.

13) Do you like to smile?
I smile a lot, but I don't really like my smile.

14) Write poems?
When I'm forced to.

15) Eat?
It's mandatory in order for my survival.

16) English?
I used to ride English. And Western. I also tend to speak the language. Fluently.

17) French?
I took it for two years. It makes me sound like I need a Kleenex.

18) Slovene?
What'd you call me?

19) Polish?
That's a nationality.

20) Sports?
I don't do those. Hahaha.

21) Internet?
More valuable to me than air. That was kind of a joke.

22) Do you think life gets better or worse day by day?
Depends on who you're talking about.

23) Are you nervous or calm person?
Calm.

24) Is there any message you'd like to tell the world?
Like, the world as it's own entity or everyone who lives in the world?

25) What's your favourite line in the song?
"Do the Helen Keller and talk with your hips."

26) The cutest thing you've ever heard?
What Chris writes in Jamie's yearbook in Just Friends.

Haha, maybe not the cutest thing ever, but it's pretty damn funny.

27) Do you love your parents?
Of course.

28)What would you do if tomorrow is the last day of your life?
Plenty of illegal things.

29)Do you often think about death?
Not often, but I think about it. I don't like to.

30) Is this the last question?
You tell me.

I taggeth OneSixSix, AshaAttack, NatalieGray, TheSusieQ, LiveAndLove, and TwilightRaindrops. Have fun!

Warped Review, Suckaa.

Englishtown, NJ - July 28, 2008

My P&S camera is broken, and I didn't have a photo pass and was therefore unable to bring my DSLR, so I was stuck with my cameraphone. I wasn't in too many crowds, anyways, so I didn't mind too much.

It was so hot out, so going inside a crowd and being tossed around in a mosh pit was not the most appealing plan. I spent more time meeting bands than I did watching them. Also, the times were kinda screwed up, resulting in me missing Mayday Parade, and most of The Devil Wears Prada, whom I watched from afar for a little while, since no one wanted to go in the crowd with me. Meh.

I did see 3OH!3, and they were amazing and hilarious. Plenty of choreographed dance sequences, booty-shaking, and amp-molesting. They sounded awesome, and put on such a great show, everyone in the crowd enjoyed it.

Whilst waiting for Nat and Sean, Bring Me the Horizon played on the adjacent stage. I had wanted to see them, but I didn't want to lose my spot in the 3OH!3 crowd. So, I listened, and they sounded pretty damn good. Oli asked everyone to form two circle pits around the sound booths, and gave the crowd a disclaimer: "It's kind of like the macarena.. Except you'll probably get hurt."

We left 3OH!3 early to my dismay, and went to the All Time Low set, but didn't go into the crowd. People are so bitchy in crowds, really. I can't stand that. So, people were being buttfaces and were giving me and my pals a hard time about getting anywhere in the mass of people, and we decided to just listen from afar. I didn't care, Warped was my fourth time seeing them live.

Mayday Parade played an acoustic set at the MySpace Tent, which we sat in on. It was pitch-perfect, a'course. Derek and Jake put on a great set. My friends made me leave that early to go to the All Time Low signing, which had the longest line. Again, I didn't really care, I've met the dudes before, blah blah. So, we didn't go in the line.

The Audition had a tiny crowd, and that made me ~*sad. They were completely amazing, though. Danny's voice is ridiculously beautiful. Yeah, beautiful. The man's vocal chords are a gift from the gods. And, he danced around stage, lifted up his shirt a little at times (Instructions for a Proper Reaction: Giggle, Swoon, Faint, Repeat). And Timmy totally had eye sex with me.

I neglected to mention how we wandered around merch tents before. We met Delicious and Chris, the merch dudes for All Time Low and Forever the Sickest Kids, respectively. I got pictures with them both, of course. Who needs band members? I'm all for the merch men. Anyways, I spent the day making Delicious famous and bringing him fans (I ran into him like six times. He was most definitely stalking me.), and Ci Ci Moneybags promised me I was his favorite fangirl. We pinky swore, and he tried doing this weird high five - jellyfish motion combination that I wasn't feeling. I let it slide, he's adorable. And the sweetest guy ever. My friend and I wrote on his little notepad, and then my sister and other friend basically mauled it, and he had to write everything over again. But he wasn't even mad. He was so awesome. Oh, and he doesn't wave. He makes a peace sign and wags it. Yeah, he's that cool.

Oh, and I got "Get Low" booty shorts from mah man Delicioso.

So, who did I meet at Warped?

Matt Good, singer of From First to Last. I think he was either super tired or had just woken up. I can't remember which. He refused to follow my advice and take a nap. He danced a little.

Derek Sanders, vocalist of Mayday Parade. We met him right after their set, which we missed. (Angry face) He was so nice, as per usual. Then, we met all of the band, at their signing. I told Brooks that I loved his hair, he thanked me. I told Derek that their acoustic set was amazing, he thanked me. I don't know what to make of my encounter with Alex. He was signing the stuff I had, and he looks up and goes "Hi." Then, he looks down to sign again and looks back up, and says "hi" again. It was cute, and weird, and I love him. He had a lollipop in his pants (Let me rephrase that). In his pocket. And my sister asked for it, and he was like "Really? You want it? ... Okay." And handed it to her. So my sister totally licked his lollipop, and I'm gross, and that was uncalled for. Yes, so moving on. Jeremy made an awesome pose in the magazine I had them sign, and I complimented him. And then I told Jake how awesome the acoustic set was, and he thnxd meh.

I met Danny and Seth of the Audizzle, and got a picture. They came out from the tent they were at, and stood next to each other, and it took me a while to figure out where I should stand, so Danny prompted me with "Stand in between us." I made him say "please". I taught him manners. Awh hellz yah. I saw him like three other times that day, but my friend made me leave him alone. I did get one other photo with him on a different occassion. And, he and Seth took a photo with my sister, and Danny was looking away, talking to someone, and I told him I could use that as blackmail, and he says there's a lot of blackmail against him. (Ahem, Danny Stevens n00dz? Where art thou!?) I also met Joe, the bassist. He was smoking, and I told him I was concerned about his health, and he promised he would quit for me. Liars suck.

Caleb Turman (FTSK) walked by us, and my friend tried to get a stop him, but some dude with him was all "Not now! Not now! Must keep moving!" and Caleb gave her a high five and squeezed my shoulder. Haha. Yeah. We did get a photo with him soon after. My friend wrote "Do Me, Caleb" on her headband, and he gave her the biggest hug after he read it. I was dying. Oh, did y'all know he has a girlfriend? I have no clue if that was a secret or not. I won't say who, just in case it is. But you probably know who she is. That tidbit of knowledge was bestowed upon me by two awesome girls (myspace.com/hiiibim, myspace.com/morgantylerphoto). They said they wanted to get us backstage, but would get kicked out. Hah, they were so sweet and cool.

We tried getting Kyle Burns' attention, but he was being a royal douche (he was so nice at Bamboozle, but he was being a prick and a half). The girls said he was mean to them, and that he's a meanie, and went over on our behalf, and told him he was the only one we wanted a photo with, and that he should go over to take a photo with his fans, and he said that he was "really busy". He was tossing a roll of pink duct tape in the air and catching it. Wow. He did come over, and took a photo with one of my friends, and left immediately after. Srsly. Walk over, photo, walk back. He wouldn't even take a photo with the rest of us.

Austin Bello was nice, he had just woken up, and still came over without a problem to take a photo and chat with us. He is so friggin' funny, too. And the girls we met, they took my friend's camera on stage with them to take some awesome photos for her. Honestly, they were so great. We passed out stickers for the one girl (myspace.com/hiiibim ... I didn't catch her name, hahaha) and wore stickers from the both of them.

Sooo.. I met two of the dudes from Every Avenue, and I got a photo of my sister with them and a Buzz sticker. I gave it to one of them and told him he should wear it onstage, I have no clue if he did or not.

Oh! And I met one of the guys from The Devil Wears Prada (I don't know his name, blah, I'll look it up). And I met Jeremy from TDWP, and we totally bonded over the Cure for about two and a half seconds, and I hugged him. Wee! That made me super excited. He was so nice, so so so nice, and adorable, and he loves the Cure!!! Ahh.

This is super long, I doubt anyone read through the whole thing, I don't blame them if they didn't, and if you want to know more, feel free to ask :D I love y'all, have fun this summer.

In an hour..

I'll be going to my friend's house, and then we'll go to Warped Tour.
I'm so excited :D I'll be doing some Buzz-whoring and I'm gonna meet Savannah!
WHOOP, WHOOP!!! Expect an action-packed review.

No more.

No more negativity.
This is a promise to myself.
I'm done. Done, done, done.
I'm sick of feeling incompetent, dismal, etc.
I'm starting a new school soon, I have the opportunity to define who I am before people try to smudge my reputation with grimy little hands.
I can't even describe how I feel right now.
I actually feel pretty melancholy at this moment in time, but I want to wake up tomorrow and feel differently.
Refreshed and animated. I'm done bumming around.
I need this.

Random.

I've seen these done before.
Okay, so I put my iTunes on shuffle, and quote the first line of the first 20 songs that play,
and you crazy kids guess the song and artist, and if you cheat by looking up the lyrics,
I chop your arms off. Yeah? Here goes nothin'.

This world was never worthy, but how can I call it unfaithful?
Light's out, I still hear the rain.
Take off both your shoes and clothes, I'll follow.
Drain the veins in my head. Clean out the reds in my eyes for security lines.
Yeah, I'm missing you, missing you.
Good morning, son, how are you? You're only seventeen.
I know that I've been dancing around the truth. Tell me what the hell I'm supposed to do.
I have, I have you, breathing down my neck, breathing down my neck.
Gauge out your eyes, pull your heart to the floor.
Go make your next choice be your best choice.
Make your move, obvious humor. Desperate and respiratory plight.
Let's go. Let's go. Hurtful words, from my enemies of the last five years.
Do you want to come to a party? My friends picked me up in a truck at 11:30.
We have to take our clothes off.
I will not relent, no, no. Never live with defeat, never falter.
I've hoped for change, and it gets better everyday.
So I met a guy, he's from New Jersey. Took me out to get some food.
We've had one chance to take back. But over and over again.
I saw you with her, dear, you tried to hide away.
I be on it, all night man, I be on it. All day, straight up, pimpin'.

Hahaha, okay, I'd be surprised if you can get more than two or three.
Major lulz at that last one :D